Definitely Positively NOT an Italian Plumber
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: Zany OOC styled fanfic where a typical JLA battle quickly becomes a homage to a certain arcade game with a monkey named Kong. after that, a short but definitely hilarious Simpsons homage!


**Definitely Positively NOT an Italian Plumber**

 **I don't own DC Comics. This was inspired by both the Borderlands 2 achievement where you eliminate Donkey Mong and the fight with Gorilla Grodd in DC Universe Online only in this case, meaning MY imagination, it's a format of the original Donkey Kong arcade game. So please enjoy and now dear readers, here is our humorous story for this Tuesday night**

"And once again we're fighting Gorilla Grodd and trying to prevent him from turning the whole human population into apes. Whoop-de-do" Hawkgirl said sarcastically as she and the Justice League were in the throne palace of Gorilla City, fighting… oh you know who it is by now. Didn't you read the disclaimer? Oy, I swear you people have been so fixated on that Pokémon Go thing and all that other hoopla, y'all can't even remember the eponymous simian DC villain since

"GET ON WITH IT" the large crowd from Monty Python and the Holy Grail bellowed loudly

Ok, ok, geez!

"Hey guys! I got an idea" Supergirl hollered, just cheerfully sniffing the palace chrysanthemums before accidentally knocking a vase onto one of Grodd's henchmen

"Oops, I'm so sorry! That was an accident" Supergirl quickly apologized showing her gentle, incorruptibly pure personality

"what's your idea, kiddo?" Huntress asked

"remember that game where you jump over barrels and climb up ladders and fight a big monkey?" Kara asked, before her eyes shrank in horror upon the realization that she had pushed Grodd's berserk button which is…

"do I LOOK like a monkey to you, you imbecile?" Grodd grouched crankily, getting quite annoyed with the lovable and playful Girl of Steel. In the past few days, every single member of the Hall of Doom had to surrender or simply retire because, well, Supergirl was driving every one of them completely crazy. Doctor Psycho had to return to his residential island of Fiji after Kara accidentally demolished his entire lab, believing she was playing a game of hide and seek. After that incident, Brother Eye self-destructed itself in desperation because Kara's very naïve personality and low IQ literally drained the entire OMAC hive of power. Thus, when Brother Eye exploded, the OMAC hive went with him as well

"Yes, we all remember that but…" Batman said before doing a brilliant double take upon seeing that his body was 8-bit animated. And it wasn't just him as well. Basically Kara's little "idea" resulted in a temporary glitch, reverting everyone and literally EVERYTHING into the setting of the original Donkey Kong classic. Three guesses who Jumpman is and the first two don't count

"Woo-hoo! C'mon, let's-a-go!" Kara chirped excitedly, humming the extremely catchy Mario theme to herself as she leaped over each barrel with the greatest of ease

"when this is over, can I PLEASE…" Batman begged before…

"No. for the hundredth time, you can NOT and most definitely will NOT put Kara in the Iron Maiden" Alex said firmly, the grouchy Dark Knight snapping his fingers in annoyance. Seconds later, the 8-bit Grodd went careening down off the large railing, Kara triumphantly holding… WALLY?!

"uh…. This is a little weird. I think we may get in trouble for this" Kara says nervously

"why do you say that buttercup?" Alex asks

"well, you and me are lesbians, and Wally is, um, he's, well…" Kara stammers

"actually, I'm…" Flash started before whispering the rest into Kara's ear. Suddenly her eyes went wide and her irises shrank down to the size of Ant Man

"what? What'd he tell you?" Hawkgirl asked

"I… don't think you even wanna fragging know" Kara said in shock, downing her Gatorade to clear the nasty images out of her head

"so THAT'S it? Just a fight sequence suddenly turning into a homage to an oldie video game and ending with an OOC sexuality joke?" Batman griped

"um, to be fair, I wasn't very fond of your Miller Time comics" Robin said sheepishly only to regret saying those words as steam whistled out of Batman's ears

"WHY YOU LITTLE…" Batman yelled throttling Robin like crazy, Kara and Alex sporting a silly grin on both their faces as both reminisced a particular incident

….

On the tablestand was a large jar of quarters that said Bruce's Money-KEEP OUT! That means you Kara and Alex on a piece of paper. Stealthily sneaking over the bunny slippers, loose clothes and undergarment, Kara and Alex reached the holy golden idol…

SHHHHHHH! DO YOU WANNA GET SUED BY STEVE SPIELBERG?

Ok, ok, Grammar Nazi, geez

EY! KEEP THAT UP AND I'LL TAKE THAT KEYBOARD AND SHOVE IT WHERE THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE

Wha? I don't know what you mean by… Oh

Kara and Alex reached the quarters jar, examined it closely, flexed their fingers a couple times and grabbing the jar with haste. They were almost home free, were it not for the rumbling of footsteps

"WHY YOU LITTLE…" Batman growled angrily, wearing his cowl and upper suit…with his underpants. The angered Dark Knight took off in pursuit of the mischievous duo, the jar thieves quickly making a beeline down the stairs, Bruce following, before clumsily tripping over his shoes and began rolling down the stairs after the pair like a boulder. Both sisters sweated nervously as they eventually outran the large obstacle. Just then Dinah, who was soundly napping, immediately heard the ruckus, narrowed her eyes at her sisters and fired tranquilizer blow darts. Fortunately the two dodged them with uncanny accuracy.

Bruce had finally gotten himself untangled after his literal staircase tumble and finally cornered his opponents in the kitchen. But yet again the twins had a little trick up their sleeve. Bruce growled at the mouth and lunged for them, when at the same time, both twins leaped onto the rotating ceiling fan, dodging Bruce's grab and neatly landing on the walkway to the garage, Bruce hitting his head on the floor with an annoyed grunt

Kara and Alex saw their mommy Hippolyta waving at them cheerfully in the family mini-van, eager to take the kids shopping. But the twins' mood of victory quickly escalated into desperation as Bruce immediately pushed the close button on the garage door. Once again using their remarkable reflexes, Kara and Alex quickly did a barrel roll under the door and quickly grabbed their baseball caps before the door closed, Bruce's backside sticking out

"hehehehe! Sucker" Kara and Alex giggled, Bruce rushing out on the lawn holding a rake as his weapon and having a truly crazed off the deep end look on his face

"Buh-bye" Hippolyta waved cheerfully, mockingly giving Bruce a kiss as she drove off, Bruce jumping up and down ranting in outraged gibberish, Mr. and Mrs. West watching in confusion. The husband, Ernie West, a happily married insurance salesman with a DINK income meaning Double Income No Kids. The wife, Myrtle West, a deadpan, often befuddled housewife who spent her time sticking her head in the freezer and often talking to her long dead mother's urn. Normally the Wests were very normal very kind all American people. Then they made the grave mistake of moving across from the Prince family mansion where the all American couple met the most wackiest, screwiest and definitely out of place and out of mind family since the Addams

"Honnneeeeyyyyy!" Mr. West bellowed to his befuddled wife

"yes Ernie, what is it? Is it those wacky neighbors from across the street again?" Mrs. West asked

"mm-hmm. We might as well pack our bags Myrtle. That Wayne guy's in his underwear again jabbering like a lunatic" Ernie grumbled before exhaling "oohhhh I sure hope nobody writes an online story about those loonies. I swear, whoever made them act like that must have a very warped sense of humor"

Gee, thanks very much.


End file.
